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My life in just words

Missing someone can hurt like hell

17:43, 28/8/2014 .. 0 comments .. Link

I wanted to write everyday but that didn't work haha. I also thought that about my diary but i haven't wrote in it for a while.

I've got my new shoes c: i was really excited and i love them so much eventhough a girl in my class ordered them to.

Today an old friend of mine and i talked again which was nice but it felt really weird.

Jelle, a friend of mine is so sweet. i said to him 'we have french on monday, two hours' and he replied to me 'ahh no, but i'm happy i'm with you in my french class' That's so adorable!

You remember the boy i talked about? his name is Bart (easier to tell stories about him if you know his name). And we were sitting next to eachother in chemistry and he said to his friends 'i don't know but she wanted to sit next to me' yeah asshole than just sit alone i'm not going to sit next to you anymore if you say something like that. I mean it's not really nice. And he doesn't talk to me.

Everybody has dreams, some are just harder to reach. i mean i have a boyfriend who lives in Turkey while I live in The Netherlands i know the feeling. But if you try hard enough you can reach your dreams just work hard. Don't bother about what people tell you. You have to make your own path, you can listen to them but don't ever do what they say.



First day of school

15:57, 26/8/2014 .. 0 comments .. Link

When you go to High school for the first time, it can be hard. Sometimes you don't know anyone. But that's not only the first year, it's every year. At our school you don't know your classmates. And you come at school like shit where do i have to go or shit where is that. i wore my heels (not really high) today and i almost fell because the floor was really wet because of the rain..

That boy came over yesterday right? i told you that yesterday. Today he didn't even look at me, he acted like I didn't exist, what is wrong with me? I mean, i invited him at my house, i know it was really awkward and all we did was watching TV and sitting on the couch but why does he ignore me?

There is a girl in my class and she is nice but she needs attention of boys, like always. I mean I like attention of boys but at school they look at me like i'm an alien. What do I care? pff

But my new class is really nice, but some people underastemate year 4 of Havo at our school they say 'i'm just gonna do this easily' yeah well watch it because it isn't easy. I don't have handsome boys in my class. Poor me ;) there is a girl with pink hair though, she seems nice haha.

After i was done meeting my new class I had to go home, Yes boys and girls The Netherlands or should i say 'always rain'. I really hate it, and it's really cold. i'm sitting here with a blanket and a cup of soup and it's actually still summer.

Tomorrow my first lessons will start, i'm kinda excited. I love going to school which is weird, 'cause who the fack loves school? I do, i love seeing everybody again and learning stuff.

Missing someone is like, feeling empty not empty like you haven't eaten any food but empty like something is missing. It's weird but i have that feeling and i miss my Turkish boy. You might think 'why do you miss him?' yeah i had a great time with him, and he's really sweet. But i can't miss someone, i just can't it's hard and I wanna lose that person. But at the same time i don't want to lose him. It's complicated...

 



Not everything can go right

19:48, 25/8/2014 .. 0 comments .. Link

Not everything goes the way you want it to. My boyfriend cheated on me, which is really stupid but if it makes him happy sure i'll get over him. But it made me stronger, and it made me help built my confidence which is also nice because i dated a guy in Turkey while i was there on holiday, i really miss my blue eyed turkish boy though..

Tomorrow i have to go back to school, i don't wanna go but i have to. I'll do my best this year, after all i have to do my year over so..

Today one of the hottest boys from my school came over, so everybody thought we would make out and all. But we didn't we just sat there on the couch which was really awkward. I really wanted to kiss him but what if he didn't want to you know.. that would be really awkward. i'll see him tomorrow at school.

At home it's quiet, it's peacefull. I think because i'm most of the time upstairs watching series and movies. But between my parents it's not great. i mean it is awfull, it's not like they scream and all they just scream quietly. i don't know how i can explain it. My mom wants a divorce but my dad keeps pushing my mom to the edge. My dad doesn't want to except the fact that there isn't love between them anymore. I say my dad, but for me it doesn't feel like he's my dad, it feels like he's just a stranger in my life. Someone who says that he's my dad but doesn't act like it.



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