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old love

19:44, 15/12/2012 .. 0 comments .. Link

Over the years so many things happened. We got to know each other better and better and at one point we fell in love. We had all those plans but I had to go away for a week, and I never thought that one week could change so much. After that week I couldn't wait to see you and hug you and finally kiss you. But when I came back my nightmare began. You told me you liked me but you also liked somebody else. My first thought was, how about the ' I love you' messages?? Didn't they mean anything? I never asked because I didn't want to know, I was heartbroken.
You were the best thing in my life and you just walked away. I never loved anyone as much as I loved you. Thanks to that new girl of yours we didn't even talk anymore. She didn't want you to talk to me because she was afraid. I don't blame her, I hated her and I still do even though you're not even together anymore. I thought I lost you forever so I moved on. I've been with other guys but everytime I saw you, my heart skipped a beat. And I knew my feelings for you wouldn't go away. But after a year things started to change. We had contact again en talked more and more again. During our conversations my feelings came back. Guess you never left my mind and heart. Now we're going to hang out sometime and I already look forward to that. Which is silly and I shouldn't get my hopes up but somehow all I do is thinking about how it should be.. There's also a dance coming up from school, I look forward to that too. I am so curious about what will happen there. I don't even know if you like me but all I want to do is kiss you. And I really hope that that will happen at the dance or when we hang out. I just need to know where we are. I need to know how you feel otherwise I will be the one who gets hurt, again.. I don't know why but I'm scared to ask him. What if he says we're just friends and can't be something more. I have a lot of thinking to do about how I'm going to approach this. I really hope that this time everything turns out right, and I can finally call him mine.



confused

23:03, 4/12/2012 .. 0 comments .. Link

So many feelings, don't know what to think.
There is this great guy which I absolutely like and I have been through so much with him..
I met him three years ago, and since then we only got closer to each other. But I have no idea what I should do now. I trusted him so we did more than just kiss, and you might think it was a mistake and sometimes I think that too but it wasn't.. At that time it felt right and it was also my choice. But something keeps holding him back, he says that he has feelings for me but he doesn't want something serious. I think he is afraid of getting hurt.
And to be honest I have no idea why I am still with him, because we are kissing and stuff since a year ago and we are still hanging on onto each other but he doesn´t want anything serious. But when I leave he comes back to me, that must mean something right??
Anyway, he kissed other girls too, and I had to find it out by myself. He didn't tell me anything. But now he tells me how sorry he is and how badly he wants another shot... But how many chances do I have to give him? I mean I love him, I really do.. But I can't do this to myself, constantly forgiving him and giving him other chances.
I really don't know if I should say goodbye or I should give him a chance to prove me wrong...



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