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Decucraba

22/9/2012 - Old men with long beards

I went to a concert of Pat Travers and roadhouse yesterday. I went with a friend and it was really amazing. The audience though was weird. Most of the people where between 40 and 60 and old men with long beards. Not really the kinda dudes I want to see at a concert, but that did not at all ruin my night. The night was amazing. Really. I met a new friend, a girl of 22-years-old. She worked at the concert place and was dancing all the time with me and my friend. We were wasted and everything seemed much funnier than it really was. She invited me for a housewarming party at her place next week :D So I'm looking forward to that and hopefully I'll meet more new people.

Well, that was the first amazing thing of yesterday. The next is about the guy I met last week. I didn't know if I wanted  to talk to him or not, but I decided to just try it. So we talked a few times and he's really nice. We didn't talk to much or something so I hope I'll speak to him again soon :)
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20/9/2012 - Should I? Shouldn't I?

I'm still doubting about everything. That is some part of me I'd rather let go. The guy I met last weekend still hasn't talked to me so I am doubting about talking to him or not. I really would like it to get him to know a little bit better but I keep wondering why he wouldn't talk to me. Maybe he thinks I'm ugly and doesn't want me to talk to him. Or maybe he's into some other girl, who knows. I don't want to look like a fool, which I already did quite a few times. His friend, who's in my classroom, hasn't talked about it eighter. I don't know if he knows more than I do. Maybe he does. I could ask him, but that would be weird too. It's really frustrating to know that he might know more than I do and I'm dying to know it.
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18/9/2012 - Inner battle

Pfoeh, the guy I met this weekend is more in my mind than I hoped. Right now he's online at facebook and I'm dying to talk to him but I promised to myself not to. He's going to need some good skills to get me, haha. No, honestly, I really want to talk to him to figure out what he's like. If he's nice or boring, optimistic or pesimistic, which music he likes, what kinda sports he does. Well, kinda everything. I don't know if I'm really dying to meet him, or just somebody. Maybe I just want somebody to talk to me so I feel less lonely. Someone who really likes me. I don't want to be some kind of crappy 'secondhand' friend. Which I most of the time feel. I may have no enemies and a great group of 'friends' but what I really want is one good friend (or lover)
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17/9/2012 - New guy?

I still haven't spoken to the festival-guy. I don't know if I'm going to speak to him again or not.. He's never online and I don't have his phone number. Last weekend I went out to a disco, and I met a new guy. I saw him before at a friend's house. But when I went out he started talking to me, but I had to go very early because my dad was waiting for me. He asked my phone number so I gave it to him. But well, he didn't text or call me so I guess it was a mistake to ask my phone number? Maybe he thought I was cute because he was to drunk...? Well at least he added me at facebook and he liked my profile picture... Maybe he's going to text me or something. I don't know if I like the guy because I really don't know him too well. He looks good and he smiled nice. I decided that I'm not going to talk to him or something, I'm going to wait till he's trying to contact me.
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13/9/2012 - Little love update

It's already a little late and I'm tired of yesterday. I probably slept at 3 o'clock in the morning till 7 o'clock so not too long. I just can't stop thinking about the 'festival guy'. I haven't spoken with him since sunday evening. I guess the 'speak to you soon' isn't as soon as I hoped :) But I still have hope that we will talk this weekend... If I won't talk to him this weekend or next weekend, I'm going to forget him and look for another guy. I promis! It's not going to be like the last time. I don't believe in fake hopes anymore.

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11/9/2012 - I'M SO EXCITED AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT

HEY GUYS
I'm just absefreakinglutely happy :D:D And I just don't know why? Am I in love? (YES I AM!) But am I happy because I'm in love? Or am I in love because I'm happy? I feel like tomorrow will be some sucking day because today was too happy. So tomorrow will be freaking sad or something. I can never be happy for a long time. One day seems almost like a too long time to be happy. I'm already starting to feel less happy though. IM IN LOVE IM IN LOVE IM IN LOVE IM IN LOVE. I haven't talked to the guy I told you about before since the last time we talked. Right now I'm talking to some other guy, he's nice though but not really attractive. and today I talked to another guy too, he's kinda cute and in my class but I'm not sure what I feel about him. I'm still thinking to much about the guy I met at the festival. I hope to see him soon, or at least talk to him soon.
Well I guess I have to sleep now because I'm getting really tired of not sleeping too much.
Oh, I haven't told about my exchange yet, tomorrow evening I'll get two girls from the airport. They're from Spain and coming here for a week :) I'm not really looking forward to it because it's going to be a hard time doing my homework while they're here. But we are going to do some nice stuff so it's all right :D

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10/9/2012 - World Suicide Prevention Day

Today, 10 september, is the world suicide prevention day. Somehow, this day seems a little special to me. I don't know how many people lost someone to suicide, but it feels horrible. The woman, a mom of an old friend of mine, wasn't even very close to me. But it still gets you and makes you really sad. Though really can understand why you would leave this world, I still think it's horrible to commit suicide.

Honestly, my biggers fear in this world is to lose someone close to me by suicide. I would feel so guilty. Today I sung the song 'the art of suicide' of Emilie Autumn to myself almost the whole day. I still can't figure out what lyrics must mean. Does she really thinks that it's better to commit suicide than to live?

Why live a life
That's painted with pity
And sadness and strife
Why dream a dream
That's tainted with trouble
And less than it seems
Why bother bothering
Just for a poem
Or another sad song to sing
Why live a life
Why live a life


When I read this, she almost convinced me that it's better to die than to live. The old 'to be or not to be' question still isn't solved I guess. Not knowing what to choose, makes me automatically choose the 'to be'.

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9/9/2012 - L'amour fantastique

Well, this is awkward. I just talked to him on facebook (second try) and this time the conversation went quite well. We talked for about a half hour so not too long. He had to go and ended the conversation with a "speak to you soon" and "sleep well xx". Which means... i'm going to talk to him 'soon' again :D and he wants me to sleep well :D and I got two x's :D So that is gooooooood :D
I should worry less about guys being guys and admit that they are sometimes a little bit weird. (mood went from far below zero to a zeven.)
I'm very excited and at the same time I'm too damn tired so I'm going to sleep and hope I'll feel rested tomorrow (which I probably don't haha)

lot of love :D
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9/9/2012 - L'amour compliqu

Hello :)
I'm going to tell you what's currently going on on my mind. I'm constantly thinking about this guy I met two weeks ago. He's really attractive and cute (blond hair, quite long but not the 'justin bieber' type of haircut and he smiled a lot).
I was at a festival and the music was great, the people were cool, I was already a bit tipsy. You know.. perfect moment, perfect mood. So since the first moment I saw him I was in love. Could not anymore think of anybody else I ever loved. They didn't exist anymore, only him. He and me. Perfect.
Not as perfect as it might look though. We flirted a bit, kept on smiling a lot (really a lot). And in the evening things went 'better'. I teased him a bit by getting his cap and wearing it myself. He didn't bother and let me wear his cap for the whole evening. First move: check :) So after the last performance we started talking a bit. Me and my friend were about to go out after the festival (as it was only 1 o'clock). He couldn't because he had to catch his train otherwise he couldn't get back home again. So me, my friend and a friend of him went to the trainstation to say goodbye. He gave me hug and took back his cap. It was so sweet, he was so sweet.
Later, when I got home again, I added him on facebook. I was trying the have some contact with him by talking to him on the chat but he didn't answere quickly. Not that I was really sad about that, at least he did answere sometime. Until yesterday, this time he was online and he answered quite fast after my first question :) So me really happy, hoping for a night-long facebook talk. But no; after the second question he just ignored me. I could see he saw the message I send him, but he didn't response. I waited for around 20 minutes (almost fell asleep) and then decided to go offline. If I was offline, he would at least know that I wasn't waiting for him to response. (though I was).

Right now  I don't really know what to feel. I don't want to fall in love with someone who won't love me back. But I'm afraid I already have.

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17/8/2012 - Making my own bag!

Hello guys!

I like making my own stuff and I'm trying to make my own backpack currently :) I already bought the things I need but it's quit hard to start because I never tried to make something like a bag. I want it to look a bit like this image. hope you'll like it!




If you've got great ideas; please help me! :)
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