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My Journey


This is a story about my journey trough my life.

«  May 2018  »

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me as a model

Posted: 08:50, 26/4/2014
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Tell me what u see in my eyes

Posted: 08:50, 26/4/2014
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a vision of mine

Feeling alone in a room full of people is way worse than actually being alone. Feeling like you need to fit in to be happy. Admit it, it is easier than being your actual self and be judged about it. cause we live in a judgmental World. Why you ask? Cause money and power rules this World. And how do you accomplish this? By acting all fake, just look around. Tell me which picture isn’t photo shopped? People don’t  want to see the truth, they just want that piece of hope and curiosity, that’s what makes them buy it. Where money is spend there is someone losing money and earning money. It’s a long process that we are willing to follow. Cause fame looks so damn great, but is it really? i can honestly say that it isn’t all that. How do I know? If you look around the fame will end in the end. Keeping your head up and being yourself is harder than it looks. How many times haven’t you fake a smile, just so people won’t see the truth. But honestly not talking about it will make it worse. Cause at the end you will feel way worse. Talking and crying about things doesn’t have to be a bad thing, it can also evolve you to a bigger and better person. Everyone has its struggles and it can affect you in every way. Like me, I become over enthusiastic. I will laugh at everything. That’s also a fake attitude. So see, this world is just a fake and why? Because we live in a Judgmental World.

Posted: 08:35, 26/4/2014
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the beginning

Showing a piece of me is way harder than I make it look.Everyone sees me as a happy, bitchy and impulsive girl. But am I really all that? Am I really a happy, bitchy and impulsive? Or am I so deep in my fake emotions that it takes over. If I really think closely about my actions, I’m like was I really so stupid that I thought it would work out? In different kind of situations . The truth is I am afraid.. like all the time. If I go outside, different scenarios are going in my head of what could happen. If someone talks to me, I can’t even trust them enough to ask directions. I’ve been hurt so many times in so many ways that I sometimes think that my reality is just an insane weird vision of mine. How is it possible that I am so hurt and afraid and no one sees it. Is it because I’m acting like a happy, bitchy and impulsive girl or do they just don’t care that much. Also I have a big mouth, but I’m very insecure. I don’t like the way I look. I don’t like the way I dress. I don’t like the way I laugh and I definitely don’t like the way I talk. Still I walk with my head up high as if I’m the most prettiest girl in the world. How? I have no idea. Because if I think about it afterwards I’m like what?!? Did I really do that? It’s funny how my mind works. One day I feel like I love ice cream and another day I feel like I hate ice cream. What’s logical about that? Sometimes I don’t understand how I am, how am I supposed to show people the real me if I don’t actually know who that is. Who is me? Who is that girl I stare at in the mirror? Is that a tough girl, that survived a big struggle. Or am I an emotional and fearful wreck that is still in the middle of the struggle cause she can’t let it go, that only wants to be acknowledged by the people around her? So many question I don’t have the answers for. But someday I will find out. This is the beginning of a journey to the real me.

Posted: 08:33, 26/4/2014
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