A quick note to say hi and that I like your blog very much. I'm a sub male but my wife is also so we do our best. I could use some advice though. One way that I enjoy expressing my desire to experience her dominance is for when she comes home from work to offer my face as a place to rest and relax her feet.
As soon as she sits down, I bring her a snack and beverage and stand before her and remove my clothes before laying at her feet, removing her shoes and resting her feet on my face. The problem is she is embarrassed about the smell.
I have assured her that the smell is just another way for me to suffer for her but she won't do it unless her feet are clean. I don't mind but, as a female, she has the privilege to use my face regardless of how her feet smell.
Can you give me any ideas that might convince her that it’s ok?I want her to start sitting on my face next but want to take it one step at a time.
Thanx and I hope you don't mind that I ask.
No I don’t mind you asking at all ! I keep getting mails from many a frustrated male, who would be willing to give it all, but doesn’t seem to get the response he is hoping for. Your problem is a widespread one, Robyn, and I’ve heard it all before many times.
There is no easy quick fix and there are no easy answers to the problem either, provided you are looking for a loving relationship with mutual understanding and consent.
However you already have a major advantage to most others …you two seem to talk with each other and you both try and do your best.
These are the conditions necessary to find a solution and a consensus ! Hence I believe you are on a good way and have a good chance of finding each other.
You have to understand that one of the main reasons why I run this blog and the two yahoo groups is, because I want to help many of “my sisters” to shed all those inhibitions that many of us have and grow up with.
It is not only our feet that we worry about ! Often we worry about our womanhood and have all sorts of inhibitions about it. We worry how we smell down there and most of us have a real phobia about our menstruation. We worry about our natural discharges, mucus and all the juices we may produce. Many of us don’t even know that it is natural for a woman to ejaculate and squirt when she is climaxing.
I was embarrassed too the first time I soaked my boyfriend face and everything around me. It hadn’t happened to me ever before, even though I already had a few boyfriends before I met my “hero”, but it was always the usual being on my back, being humped and all of them came far too quickly anyway to give me proper pleasure !
Today I am mad at myself why I ever tolerated such behaviour, because I believe that we girls are responsible for our own sexual satisfaction, rather than leave it up to the boys and hope for the best. This kind of thinking though may slowly and gradually dawn in many young women, but unfortunately there is still a vast majority of us, who haven’t got the guts to say what we want, how we want it and above all demand it, often because we feel insecure about our own body and its natural functions.
I was lucky though, because I met a guy, who wasn’t as selfish as the most of them, but truly cared for me and my pleasure. He was more than just understanding when I squirted my juices in his face and mouth, but happy and eager to let me feel and know that it was wonderful for him to drink it all, to lick me, taste me, smell me, eat me and serve me !
I wasn’t born dominant, Robyn. It was the relentless, patient and willing devotion of my partner, which led me to open up and realise that the way I smell, taste, discharge, ejaculate and menstruate is normal, natural and wonderful ! It’s part of my womanhood and I learned to be proud of it… with the help of my darling !
However you have to realise that I have already been with him for over 24 years now. So it didn’t happen in one day either !
Not all of us have the luck to find a man like I did, but funnily I believe that there are many men out there, who would be ready to do the same like my darling did… like YOU for instance ( I presume ) !
Often it is a communication problem between two people, which prevents them of finding each other. Often though it is as well a problem of the males, having too many conditions and wishes of their own, disregarding their partner’s needs and desires.
Even the so-called “sub males” often are only prepared to kiss a woman’s feet and perform orally on her etc., provided they get their kicks fulfilled afterwards, may it be a jerking off or even a blow job or a fuck ! Equally many of you guys expect us to dress up in some weird, kinky outfits, which make us look like a slut or a hooker. That’s not quite the idea in my view and defeats the object totally !
I don’t mind fetishes and males are full of them, but they should not put us in a demeaning position, which robs us of our dignity.
I am just not prepared to dress up in leather or latex outfits with spikes and thigh high boots.
What convinced me about my darling was his unselfish attitude, i.e. he was happy to serve me sexually WITHOUT expecting or demanding anything in return. I never had to suck his dick afterwards or having to let him hump me as a reward or anything similar. I never heard :”Now it is my turn !”.
His happiness resulted from my happiness, my pleasure and my satisfaction. That impressed me immensely and still does today ! A very rare streak in a man !
It was this unselfish attitude, together with his utter devotion when serving me orally …in every imaginable way, which helped me shed all my inhibitions, bad feelings, insecurities and worries. This made me feel like a natural woman, proud to be female and accepting my body and its natural functions as wonderful and normal.
However that took a while, Robyn !
Unfortunately many of us are still conditioned to rather go down on a man and suck his dick ( even when it is far from being clean ), than make him eat us out, let alone sit on his face. Above all still only few of us can fully relax and “let our hair down”, because we worry too much not to fart or turn him off with our discharge, smell or ejaculation.
You have to understand Robyn, that this is still a man’s world and we, i.e. our sexuality has been kept oppressed for centuries. It is only during the last 30 years or so that we have been given the freedom ( gradually ) to learn about our own sexuality, feelings, desires and kinks. All of which has been purely a “male prerogative” so far ! We were just there to be used and serve male lust !
Look at today’s porn, Robyn and you will see in 99% of all the productions that we are still merely more than cock sucking, sperm eating fuck dolls !! It all revolves around male ejaculation and satisfaction. OUR pleasure and satisfaction is mostly a little “side effect” – if at all – and mostly faked in hilarious ways.
Female ejaculation and satisfaction is only gradually entering the market and I still have hardly seen any porn productions where women deliberately ejaculate in a man’s face and mouth ! It’s still such a rare occurrence and often only in relation with fem dom movies, whereas male ejaculation in porn by standard always happens in a woman’s face and mouth ! Show me a porn movie which doesn’t show this as the great finale, the famous cum covered female face or cum dripping mouth !
It is a cliché portrayed by the porn industry that is burnt into our minds.
I can’t think of one single “conventional” porn movie, i.e. not fem dom, which as a great finale ends showing a male face, covered in vaginal discharge and slime or showing a male mouth full of female ejaculate ! Can you ??
Can you see the double standard I am talking about ?
Hence you have to understand your wife that she can’t change in a day what has been put in her head over years and what she has been confronted with for years.
You have to be patient and work on it, i.e. work on her… and yourself ! This means …never pressurize her and let her find out how blissful it is to be able to enjoy pleasure, amusement and sexual satisfaction WITHOUT any obligations.
YOU have to provide her with this opportunity, by offering her “unselfish” love and affection, without any “tit for tat” thinking !
Equally you have to get familiar with the female anatomy and its natural functioning ( if you haven’t been used to it already ).
Our womanhood is a mix of various fragrances, juices, mucus, discharges etc. – get used to it, Robyn and learn to cherish it ! Only like that you will be able to help her shed her own inhibitions about her own body and womanhood.
Equally we DO squirt and ejaculate ! In fact if we don’t, then you can assume that we weren’t truly satisfied. Some of us do it more and some of us less, we are all different after all ( so are you guys ).
We may fart or make other noises when we are climaxing. It doesn’t have to happen, but can and there is nothing wrong with it, Robyn. Make sure you are gentleman enough to cope with it, should it bother you and let her know that it’s all ok !
We even may empty our bladder in a moment of sexual bliss ! I sometimes can’t work out anymore where all the liquid came from, after recovering from a mind blowing climax, but then again I don’t have to worry about it either, because I know that it’s normal and natural and above all because I know, that I have a partner, who is more than willing to drink and swallow it all…. if he can, but often the place around me is soaked, unless I have been sitting on his face, having my crotch pressed against his open mouth and filling it with my juices, pee and discharges.
Whatever you do, Robyn, NEVER forget to tell her… DAILY…how much you love, adore her and how wonderful she is ! We all want to hear it… again and again !
Tell her how lovely she tastes and smells ( even when you have to lie a little bit sometimes, because when we menstruate we may not taste or smell that lovely, but I am sure your love for her will be big enough to cope with it, won’t it ? ).
Should she be relaxed enough to discharge or ejaculate when climaxing…let her know that this is the BIGGEST reward for you and “make a meal” out of it…in every sense of the word !!! J
This attitude will help her overcome her inhibitions and open up, accepting her body and womanhood as natural, normal and wonderful.
All this in my view is still natural love making without any particular games of humiliation, even when she is ejaculating or urinating in your mouth while climaxing.
It becomes a fem dom game only once it is acted out deliberately as such, i.e. when I choose to deliberately urinate in my partners mouth or when I deliberately make him clean me out etc., but as part of making love I find it a normal and natural !
I believe that you have to give your wife a chance first to learn to accept her own body with all its natural bodily functions and consider them as wonderful and normal, before you get into fem dom games !!
As to her feet ( and your foot fetish !! J …don’t worry …I haven’t met a man yet, who didn’t have a fetish for female feet…it’s perfectly alright and common ! ), why don’t you give your wife nice foot massages, pedicures and the like, BEFORE you get into serving her as a foot stool ?
Nothing against the latter, Robyn, perfectly fine and I often use my hubby as such, but I feel it would help your wife to overcome her inhibitions about her feet and the way they may smell.
Once she gets used to it ( and she will …trust me, because it is heaven to have one’s feet massaged, especially when I have been wearing high heels all day !! ), she may be much more willing and ready to plant them on your face and rest them there !!
Should you get an erection when massaging or pedicuring her feet ( and I am sure you will, won’t you J ?? ), don’t hide it or be ashamed of it, let her notice it and even see it, so she gets a feeling what power her feet have over you !
The same goes of course as well for any other kind of service you do for her. Let her see your excitement and above all let her toy with it, so she can learn to enjoy the power thrill !
Most of us know about the general effect our female charms have on men, but only few of us are truly aware how much power nature has given us and how desperate males truly are in need of what we have to offer. As I mentioned above, males are full of fetishes and my husband is no different.
The most common ones are high heels, nylons and our feet and legs. Others have more a butt or breast fetish etc. ! Whatever, you guys are all hooked on it in one way or another.
The drive you have is given by the hormone levels your balls are producing ! With appropriate ejaculation control, i.e. denial, this drive can be heightened dramatically.
My partner opened up to me totally and offered me full access to his soul and feelings, thus allowing me to exert my female power over him fully.
His opening up had made him vulnerable of course, which I find tremendously arousing and thrilling.
I helped me a lot in becoming aware of my power and it has given me a lot of self-confidence, realising his total male vulnerability, weakness and helplessness.
It is a wonderful power rush to be able to control a man’s lust, toy with it and exploit his fetishes.
However similar to the sexual freedom, we need to be given the chance to learn about it and become aware of it. This needs men, who are “man enough” to open up and expose their vulnerabilities and accept them as a natural fact, thus providing us with power over them.
It is an utterly amazing feeling to be able to make a man drool, dribble and cause him an erection, WITHOUT even touching him ! It is thrilling to be able to make him lose his composure and cloud his mind !
It’s fun …, because I can…. because I am a woman ! It is simply part of our nature and there is nothing wrong with it !
If you want to offer you wife this thrill, Robyn, you have to let her rule your balls, lust and desire. Your erection will become the symbol of her power over you, hence you should never hide it, but always let her see and enjoy it, like another victory of female power !
However you must not expect that getting you hot and bothered automatically means that she has to go all the way. That would defeat the object totally again ! The fun is to get a man hot, toy with him and then cool him down again… without owing him anything and without any obligations. Something many men have a problem with.
I am sure that she won’t be able to refuse such a flattering offer, to rule over your manhood ! However, Robyn, be aware… it’s an addictive thrill and once she has learned to enjoy this power over you, she won’t settle for anything less again !