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week 17/1/2006

Saturday the 6th of January


An update on the voices ,a few days ago I was downstairs waiting for the coffee to get ready, than I heard them again, I donít know what they said because I run upstairs to a room with sound. Thatís the last I heard from them, I feel that they are there but still donít know why they are so qiuet.


This weeks intrans to the competition are,

For Germany it is Clarissa Jungblutt , she is pretty and she is sometimes funny, I donít listen to her that much , but when she is on I always watch her. She presents games on the German channel DSF , she did present big brother in the night, but that is not on anymore.

For England this week I pick Ruth from quiz call ,she is really beautiful and sometimes she dress herself very hot, than I am going to sit in my lazy chair and watch her for two ore three hours, solving the games she play.

For Holland I am going to pick Gigi she presents games on sbs6 and net5 and in the night on veronica. She have one weak spot, sometimes she is talking to fast, and than its hard to follow. Further is she a pretty girl with great potential.

For the rest I am going to pick Anne Igartiburu , she presents on TVE a Spanish channel , in the afternoon she presents from 1430 until 1500 show news and on Monday night the Spanish version of dancing with the stars. She is always well dressed not that sexy, but she is a little bit older than the rest.

The one I am going to take out is Anna from quiz nation, because I donít watch that channel not so much anymore, most of the times when I am zappin there are commercials on that channel. That channel is going to be backwords, I use to watch that channel a lot but now not so much anymore, last week only for one hour


Now the channels I had the most on this week, I donít watch them constant but I keep an eye on them.

Number 10 is RTL4 with 800 min. Itís the most watched channel of Holland, I donít watch it that much, only the games and in the evening some news shows and on Saturday idols.

Number  9 is pro 7 with 830 min .Its an German channel , I watch during the day some news shows and at night games, and sometimes a movie.

Number  8 is 123 with 840 min. Its an home shopping channel with Sandra and Danielle. You can bid on that products.

Number  7 is veronica with 860 min. This channel is normal not so high but I watched a lot of Star gate episodes from last month, because that was my radio month.

Number  6 is Price drop tv with 950 min. This is an English home shopping channel, Where you can bid on products.

Number  5 is TVE  with 990 min. A Spanish channel I watch only the girls on this channel because they are all very pretty. I always watch dancing with the stars because of the presenter.

Number  4 is neunlive with 1140 min. A German Channel with only games, the two girls I watch the most are Tina Kaiser and Sandra.Its very educational, because I learn some German words sometimes.

Number  3 is SBS6 with 1300 min. A Dutch channel with during the daytime games in the evening I watch news shows and at night I watch also games.

Number  1 is TVN gra with 1740 min. A polish channel , the television that that is on you must see as a poster a moving poster, so now and than another girls to watch, its always without sound because on that tv is only the satellite the hotbird with polish and Italian channels , the reason that I have it so much on because on that satellite is no competition for TVN , itís the only channel with pretty girls, on that satellite is also coming soon but thatís for three hours a day.

Malgorzata is the girl I like the most because she is very pretty.

Number  1 also is Quiz call with 1740 min. Always when I zap on that tv I always get stuck on that channel, because it is the channel with the most beautiful babes and they dress very sexy. They have a big studio so sometimes they run around in that studio, that is fun to watch. That channel is going to make it, because after 19.00 there are only girls on, and in the afternoon mostly boys. There is Carroll, she is always wearing black clothes, I donít like black that much, but at her its very sexy. Than there is Ruth, sometimes she looks very hot, than I am going to sit in my lazy chair, solving the puzzles and in the meantime I watch her doing her job.

Than there is Kait she is a Liverpool fan and sometimes she is wearing very sexy clothes. Than there is Cat the one I donít see that much, because she isnít on that much. Than there are two others I donít know there names but I am going to find out and let you know.


See you later.


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jan the 6th6/1/2006

Its Thursday the 6th


Woke up at 15.00h and watching now lisa on ttv tvn gra a girl on neunlive and Celine, she is back.


Last week I talked to my sister and she said that I have a great fantasy, because of the stories, I now I have but I can keep it apart, when I am at home my fantasy is going wild some time, but when I am around people its gone than I am in the real world. The voices arenít fantasy I wish sometime but they are for real.

Everything I wrote is really happened except the stories.

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Its January the 4th

Just woken up and now I am watching Wytske, Anne Igartibura, andrea and a girl on neunlive.

Yesterdays winner was  sbs6 and the day before that it was neunlive the channel I had the most on.


Lets talk about my working past.

When I left school I was out of a job, so I was going to help my father out, with his driving supermarket.

It where long days of hard working, my father couldnít pay me so I did it for free because I loved that job. I had everything for free at house and I could take what I want. We starts in the morning at 0730. after breakfast my father went to his vegetable garden to pick up some fresh vegetable for selling. In the meantime I was putting the fresh milk and milk products and fresh bread in to the car , which they brought every morning .At 0800 we starts driving .

Three days a week we where driving through our hometown and three days in another town.

Most of the time we where back at 19.00 and after that we must fill up the empty spaces in the car and clean everything up that took about one and half hour.

So I got home at 2100 than I must eat and after that I had time for myself.

On Wednesdays my father had the day off so I was the big boss that day I was after the pay desk and my mate after the wheel, because I donít have a driver licence. On Thursdays I had the day off but I was always busy at the storehouse because that day they bring in groceries. So I had to put all that away. and put price tags on everything. And in the evening I felt up the empty spaces in the  car.

When my father was on holiday I was the big boss I loved that , but I had one week spot, I was always afraid we didnít get enough and I always over orderd

It was agreat job and have learned a lot from my father..  

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monday the 2nd2/1/2006

An update of the voices .last weekend I played a song very loud on my head phone and I heard a voice saying heeee. Thatís it.


On tv there is price drop tv with a black girl, tvn gra with karolina a tape with star gate and dsf with clarissa.

I am going to keep up with channel I have the most on, the winner of yesterday was quiz call..

I think this years winners are going to be quiz call ore sbs6, outsider is Nederland 2 a dutch channel with the Olympics this year and the world cup soccer.

Girls who are in the competition this year are Kelly, Jerry lee and michelle from grab a grant, Claire from price drop tv, Anna from quiz nation, Millika, Celine  and Wytske  From sbs 6 , Renate from tmf, TIna and Sandra from neunlive, Mariolina and Nancy from coming soon, Sonia Ferrer from tve, Sonia Araujo from rtpi and Denise Koopal from rtl4 , every week I am going to pick 4 more girls and take on out of the competition until November.


See you later

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last day of the year31/12/2005

Its Saturday the 31st of December


Number 3 is Wytske Kenemans


Number 2 is Tina Kaiser


My baba of year 2005 is SONIA ARAUJO



Gelukkig nieuwjaar (dutch)


Gluckliches neues jahr( german)


Ano novo feliz ( portugese)


For everyone a happy 2006 And for my self I hope a year without the voices.

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mom part two30/12/2005

This is the second and final part .

So he woke up one morning and saw another girl, she was wearing a white dress that was wet, and her hair was all over her face, only her mouth was visible .

He read her lips and she also said ďI want to see my momĒ. He told Tina about it and she said I will help you where I can.

Tina was pregnant at that time but she got a miscarriage of a little girl, Paul thought maybe it is that girl, but that mysterious girl kept on appearing .

He was thinking, if it is not one of my own children who`s is it than. Again he thought about his own past, maybe he forgot one again. But he couldnít think of one.

Than he thought that it could be someone of his family. So he tracked the whole family down, but he couldnít find anyone who knows a woman with a dead child.

One of the family members was a sperm donor, so he went to the sperm bank and asked about that, but they couldnít give him the information because of the privacy. That evening he breaks in at the sperm bank and searched in the computer but he couldnít find anything.

Every day he searched the internet to find something about ghosts and other weird stuff but he didnít got a clue. He didnít know what else to do, he got stuck.

One day he went to a fortune-teller , when she looked into her glass bowl she got very scared and asked Paul to leave , he found that very weird. The next day out of curiosity he got back, but the door was closed. A couple of days later he reads in the newspaper that the fortune-teller did throw herself for a train.

He didnít know that that had something to do with him.

One day he got home and Tina told him that she had seen that little girl too, but her mouth was shot said Tina .

That same evening Paul was babysitting because Tina went to a school play with one of their daughters who must play a ghost in that play.

Later that evening he saw that little girl again, but she said ďI found my momĒ. A few hours later the doorbell went of. Paul opened the door and there were two police officers who told him that his wife and daughter were drowned, because the car drove into the water.

Paul went straight to the hospital and first he went to Tina, he puts her arms around her and cried. Later on he went to his little daughter, and what he saw than shocked him, she was wearing a white wet dress and her hair covered her face.

In the beginning he thought that it wasnít one of his own children, but he thought wrong it was his own daughter.

A few days later he walked through his daughters room and saw a painting with only his daughter and Tina with wings looking like angels. On the backside where three words ďlove you daddyĒ.


Now Paul is back at his first wife and I hope they live happily ever after because my fantasy is running out on this on.


See you later

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yet another story30/12/2005

The story about everything I do I made up about ten years ago when I was emotional down.

The story about Susan I made up a couple of days back.

Then a couple of years back I made up two stories, one about creatures who only come out in the dark, but they made a movie about that subject called ďĒTheyĒĒ so I have thrown that idea away. Here goes that other story, I gave another swing to it because I wasnít that satisfied.


There was a guy ,lets call him Paul , he was a good man, married, with a couple of children and a good job at an lawyer office, he wasnít a lawyer but he was an assistant, a well paying job. He had it all and was very happy.

Than one morning he was walking to the office , he saw a little girl on the other side of the road, she was floating above the street, in a white dirty dress, and dirty blond hair and he could look right through her. He asked a passing man of he did see it too, but the guy said go to a shrink I see nothing what is not normal.

Paul got around the corner and saw that girl again, she said something to him, but he couldnít hear her. He tried to ignore it and walked to the office . When he was in his office doing his job, he looked outside and saw that girl in front of his window saying the same sentence again. He thought he was going crazy and took the rest of the day off. In the afternoon he was sitting in the park and that girl appeared again, he watched her closely to find out what she said, he read her lips , she was saying ďĒI want to see my momĒĒ.

When he got home he told his wife and his wife told him that he was crazy. She thought it was his way to track attention.

But he keeps on seeing that girl, everywhere he go , she appeared more often every day. He was talking to his wife about it but she said donít talk about it that much it takes your whole life, if you are going further with it I am going to leave you.

He couldnít concentrate at work anymore and got fired. Than his wife left him with the children.

He was all alone and he did not have any income so he lost his house and became a wanderer, and started drinking. But he kept on seeing that girl.

One night he was sitting in the library and reeds the newspaper, there came a girl to him she said we are going to close now you got to leave. She said come back tomorrow I bring you something to eat.

The next morning he got back to the library and saw that girl ( lets call her Tina) and she gave him some sandwiches . It wasnít busy so she came to sit with him and asked him his story. He told him  his story and she didnít believe him, but out of compassion

She talked with him some more, helping to find out who that girl could be. Than she said maybe itís a child of you, that moment saw Tina that girl for a couple of seconds, she asked Paul to describe that girl, and he described her just the way she had seen her that few moments. Tina said I believe you and maybe we have something to work with, because I saw her the moment I said that it could be a child of you.

Than Paul starts to think about the girls he slept with, that where a lot , because he slept around a lot in his days.

He wrote down all the girls and together with Tina he visited all of them but no one of them had a girl who has died.

In the meantime Paul got a job at the library as cleaner.

They talked about his past a lot to find out if there where more woman who he slept with. But they couldnít find anything. They searched the internet to find girls who died in mud ore something, but there were to many girls, so they gave up.

One night Tina invited Paul to have diner at her house. When he was at her house he saw a picture of a woman he recognized , but he didnít know from where. So he asked Tina the story of the woman at the picture.

Tina said that is my sister I havenít seen her in 10 years. Paul said I know her from somewhere I want to meat her, so they went searching for her. They got to a place where she is seen the last. They got to a house and ring the bell, an old woman opened the door and after a little chat she let them in. She told her that Tina`s sister killed herself after that her little daughter got killed at an car accident. The old woman also told that Tina`s sister did go to a festival every year , than it hits Paul, he also did go to that festival and had a one night stand with Tina`s sister. They starts counting and the puzzle felt into the right places.

He was the father of that girl and Tina was her aunt. Was it coincidence ore destination that Paul and Tina did meat each other.

I donít know. They did go to the grave of her sister and waited for the little girl to show up. When she showed up , Paul said here is your mother and they left, that was the last time he saw that little girl.

Paula and Tina got married and had a couple of kids they both where working fulltime at the library and where very happy together.

Than one morning he woke up and saw another girl who said to him ďI want to see my momĒ.


See you later

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another story29/12/2005

Another story


There was a girl named Susan she was hitch hicking and got picked up by a guy, than that guy drove in a forest and raped Susan and leave her behind in the forest.

There she was all alone in a forest and very scared, than she saw 4 hunters and asked them to help her, but instead they raped her to. All four of them had their way with her.

A few hours later she woke up not knowing how ore who she was. While wondering trough the forest she saw a guy, called Ron and asked him where she was. The guy took her to his house it was a nice little wooden hous in the middle of the forest, with some animals and a little garden. He asked her all kind of questions but she didnít know anything. The next morning they went to town to inform if someone gave her up missing, but they couldnít find anything that says something about her.

Than he asked her to stay with him for a while until her memories got back. She did that and stayed with him for a while, he teaches her to survive in the woods and she cooked for him every day.

One day the hunters came by and susan rembered something, but she couldnít find out. When the hunters where gone , she told Ron that those guys did something to her but she didnít know what.

So Ron went after those hunters to get there story, but he got shot by them. When he got home there was all blood over him. Susan took good care of him but in the end he died in her arms.

She buried him and was now alone with the dog Leo and the other animals. She diseded that she stayed in that little house, she knew everything about surviving now.

A few weeks later the hunters came by again, when they saw that she was alone, they raped her again and killed the dog in front of her eyes. Than it all came back to her she got her memorie back and remembered everything, who she was and where she came from and all the rapings.

When the hunters were gone she placed traps everywhere around the house to feel save, and every day she was sitting in front of the house with a gun waiting for the hunters.

But one day she accidently felt in one of her own traps and died.

A couple of days later the hunters came by again and one of them got with his feet in a trap and two other felt in a hole with sharp sticks.

With results that one guy lost his feet one guy lost a leg and the third guy lost both arms.

Now you think thatís it she got her revenge and end of story, well you thought wrong because now the spooky stuff starts.


The hunters got all the same dream, Susan who showed the rape over and over again, they woke up every night, and when they fell a sleep again they dreamed it again, they never had a good night night sleep again. Drugs didnít help, nothing helped, always the same dream.

All four hunters lost their job, their family and all of their money. One day three of them killed themselves at the same day the same hour and the same minute, with a gun trough the head. The fourth one , the one with no arms was always praying and bagging for a good night sleep but never got it.

When they buried Susan on a graveyard , they put some plants on her grave but they always died , nothing grew on her grave, it was always black ground.

One day the fourth hunter died of old age , still praying and bagging. From that moment on there where groing flowers on her grave out of nowhere, the most beautiful flowers grew on her grave.

It makes you think should Susan from the here after have something to do with those dreams.


Remember the first guy who raped her, that one in the car?

He got in a car crash and from that moment on he was invalid in a wheelchair, nowing nothing about nothing, never talked , always looking in front of him and doing nothing. Some nights he wake up and the only thing he called is ďĒrapeĒĒ. That one you must figure out yourself.

What weird about that was, that the car he crashed on was driven by a girl named Susan. Keeps you thinking more.


See you later.

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Its Thursday the 29th of December.

My brother just come by and brought me something to eat, we drunk some coffee and talked about everything. He has changed his hair colour in light blue , I donít like it but he do, well when he is happy with it who am I to say anything about it.


On tv there is price drop tv with Georgina and games with Arlette Adriani, I still think she is cute.

That brings me to the competition. I think I have worked it out.

Sonia, I see her every weekday , for the first time I saw her in march, since than I missed her only once, not counting her six weeks holiday.

She is the only one I can watch for hours in a row. She interest me, because I donít know anything about her, I cant understand her. Its Portugese. And I cant find anything of her on the internet, only a few pictures.

She is always wearing jeans, with sometimes a sexy top, once ore twice I saw her in a black skirt, but I just want to see her in a colourful ore white dress.


Tina she is the only foreign girl I always listen to when she is on, only this month not, because of the radio. She should be on last night but she wasnít , so I went to bed early. I like her stories and her man hunting. And sometimes she looks very sexy.


Then there is Wytske , she can look very sexy but she doesnít, I donít know when she is on, so its always a surprise. I like her stories, and the way she presents it its never boring to listen to her.


I donít want anything to do with one of these girls, because I donít like their lifestyle, always busy going to parties and always with there face on tv , thatís not my style I donít want my face on tv and I donít want to be famous, and I hate wearing suites. I always wear jeans.

I just want a girl who has a 9 to 5 job, and just good looking , she doenst have to look like miss world ore something, but she must look a little bit pretty, and if she have children I donít mind about that, and her body must look like Bigi an topless presenter on neunlive, she have a great body, beautiful breasts and a great figure.

When I have an competition with the most beautiful topless presenter , Bigi would win.


But when they force me to choose a night out with one these woman I should pick Tina. Because I just want to find out why she doesnít have a boyfriend, she is pretty , nice and funny. Maybe there is something else what scared the guys away, I just want to know what that is.


Well I already know who my babe of the year is going to be, but I am going to tell you the 31st , but I give you a hint, my number two is for me a foreigner.


See you later.

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a story28/12/2005

There was a guy called Kees, he was 19 years old, lived in a flat and worked in a factory.

One day one of his mates called Jan, invited him to a birthday party. So Kees went to that party.

He had a great time. Than he saw a pretty girl sitting in a corner on a chair. He asked Jan who she was. Jan told him that she was his sister Amanda, but that she just was 15 years old. All evening Kees watched Amanda , most of that evening she was sitting on that chair all by herself. Than they played the record ďĒEverything thing I do , I do it for you.ĒĒ

By Brian Adams. Kees thought this is my change , and asked her to dance. They were dancing the most of the evening and talked a lot with each other. When the party was over Kees asked her out, and she said yes.

So they were going out and a lot of dates followed. Amanda told Kees that her father hits her sometimes but that must stay their little secret. She couldnít go to her mother because she was dead.

One night Kees was at home watching television, when the doorbell ringed , there stands Amanda all beaten up by her father. He let Amanda in and she asked if she could move in with him for a while. He said yes, and so she moved in.

They had a great time together, they did everything together, they shopped and cooked together, and both did the housekeeping. They had their arguments sometimes but they always made up.

They didnít have sex together, they talked about it but she wasnít 16 yet so it was forbidden by the law. One night Kees was laying down in bed waiting for Amanda to put his arms around her, because she liked that, but it took to long and he fell a sleep. But moments later he woke up because the song ďĒEverything I do, I do it for youĒĒ was played very loud. He saw Amanda standing there in a very sexy outfit. She said its 12 o clock I am 16 now, and they had great sex that night, all night long. Next day Kees worked all day with a big smile.

They also respected each other privacy , because Kees was working weekdays and Amanda got to school and worked in the weekend to get some money she gave to Kees.  So they saw each other only in the evenings and nights.

In the weekend one night they get to the movie and another night they went out for diner.

Her father did know where she was but he didnít visited her once. He got an invitation for a birthday party but he never showed up.

One morning Amanda didnít felt so well and had a pain in her chest, so she went to the doctor.

A couple of days later kees got home from work and everything from Amanda was gone, only a picture was left of them together. So Kees went to search her everywhere, but he couldnít find her and no one had seen her.

Jan told him to let it be. Kees was broken , he didnít know what to do without her. But he got over it.


6 months later , Kees was at home cooking for himself, than Jan showed up, and asked him if he wanted to come with him. They got to his house and Jan said go to the garden. When Kees got in the garden he saw  Amanda in a white dress and with her beautiful blond hair. Around her there were all candles and flowers  In the middle of the garden there was a table with food. And she played their record ďĒEverything I doĒĒ

Amanda invited him to come and sit down to have diner. He found her a bit weak and sad, but when he asked her about that she changed the subject, but they talked all night about work and their time together. But every time he asked her where she has been she changed also the subject. When it was time for Kees to go home, he tried to ask her when he was going to see her again, but than Amanda puts her finger on his lips and asked him to leave.

The last words she said was ďĒthank youĒĒ.

A few days later Kees got a card saying that Amanda has died of cancer. And an invitation to her funeral .

He went to her funeral. It was a sad funeral with only some friends and family, even her father wasnít there.

After the funeral he asked Jan about her story. Jan told him remember your song ďĒEverything I do, I do it for youĒĒ.

She loved you so much that she didnít want to drag you into her sickness. The first days after she left you she was only crying. And that last time she just wanted to say thank you for your time together. She really, really loved you.


Now Kees go visit her grave every month , asking her, why didnít you let me help you. Even his new girlfriend is going with him sometimes, because she understands.


Every time I hear that song from Bryan Adams I must think of this story, and than I get a weird feeling in my stomach, a bit emotional. I donít know if this story is true. It could be.


See you later

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This week its all radio , the top 2000 , I am singing and swinging all along. My cat doesnít like me that much anymore, when she is sitting on my lap and I am swinging , she puts her nails in my leg and jumps of.

More than 1.000.000 people have voted for this chart, I think thatís a high percentage , more than 1 out of 16 people have voted.

I am wondering how many people are listening all over the world, they do get emails from dutch people who are listening all over the world trough the internet.

I told my mom that she doesnít have to count on me for coffee, because this is a week between me and radio. Now I am sitting with the headphone on.

Now they are playing a French song.

I like this chart more than the top 4000, because no much commercials, and talking between the records. Only commercials on the top of the hour.

But this chart donít stop at night its going on 24 hours a day, so you miss a lot of records while you are sleeping. They play the number 1 just before midnight on the 31st of December. The number 1 is a dutch singer called Boudewijn de Groot with the song avond. The number 2 is queen with bohemian rhapsody.


See you later.

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On tv 1 there is grab a grant

On tv 2 there is a tape with Gigi

On tv 3 there is a movie

On tv 4 there is a tape with sue and sarah.


I had a great weekend so far.

Its starts on Saturday night I just watched the dutch idols, I was under the shower, until the phone rings, it was my brother who called me and told me that there was a concert on the belgian tv from Dana Winner, we do that sometimes if there is something on what the other likes we call each other.

I watched that concert , it was great, she has got a great voice. I took my medication and for a change I drunk two bears instead of one, because it was Christmas eve.

My mother did call me on Sunday afternoon , but I was so fast a sleep, that I didnít hear it, so she send my brother to wake me up.

So I went to my parents where we drink coffee with the whole family, after that we had family diner, normal my mother order food in on Christmas day but because it was on Sunday my dad didnít like that. So my mother cooked and the rest of the family cooked ore made something to eat. I am not the cooking type , so my part was that I pay for the potatoes and the veggies.

Diner was great it was nice I did eat a lot of meat , I am still full of it. After diner we went for a walk with the dog.

When we got back they all sat down and they were going to watch television. Thatís when I went home with some left overs for tomorrow, I drunk coffee on my own, and watched shrek 2 the movie and feet my cat , I gave him something more because it is Christmas.

At 23.00 my two brothers came over for a bear, we watched some girls, and some classic video clips.

We had a lot of fun over Wytske, my brother did call a couple of times but he couldnít come trough.

They left at 03.15h trying to walk, they drunk a lot of bear, I didnít because when I drink bear I fall a sleep. Because of my medication.

Now it is 04.00 and I am going to take my medication, drink a bear, zapping a little bit over the channels and than I go to bed after a great day.


See you later.

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Tv 1 and 3 are out

Tv 2 there is the radio on

Tv 4 is a morning show with Adriana Volpe on rai 2.


First of all I got a few emails the last days.

One from Ronald , with three words ďthey all knowĒ. Who knows what ? If it is the girls , you must let me know how you know that they know.

If they should know, I donít mind and I donít care , its going to change nothing. They donít know who I am and where I live.

Its not interesting enough for them. And how do you think they all know, they email it to each other. Come on

Well have it your way, if one of the finalists shows a nipple ore a little peace from it , I believe you, but I bet you thatís not going to happen.


And I got two emails from Ellen , I cant make a word out it, its all trough each other . So I see them as spam and I threw them away.


Last night I was going bed so I took my medication and a beer, that combination knocks me always out after half an hour.

I was zapping over the channels and I saw the two topless presenters on neunlive, I know there names now, they are Bigi and Jana, But anyway I got in a fight with myself, me go to bed ore me watching those girls. Me go to bed won, because it was 00.30 and I would wake up at 07.00 to listen to the last day of the top 4000.

They have got a surprise at the last hour ,but they didnít say what. I think they are going to play the last hour all the long versions from the top 10.

They are going to play the number 1 just before 18.00. That gives me some time to watch my tapes with star gate and other shows, because on Monday another channel starts with the top 2000 of all times, picked by the viewers.


Itís the weekend so it is competition time.


Wytske versus Claire I had figure that out a couple of days ago That is going to be Wytske,


Sonia Versus Tina. First I thought its going to be Tina, but without sound she is a bit boring and Sonia looked really hot this week, So this is a hard one..

But I figured it out. To give me another week decide, there are going to be three girls in the final.


So for the final we are going to have Sonia Araujo, Wytske Kenemans and Tina Kaiser.


I think I have figured out what is wrong with my cat. I think she hurts her behind. When she is inside she is all the time on my lap, when I sit on my lazy chair she is laying on my lap, and when I am sitting down she sits on my lap, but sometimes she is going to stand up for a while. I felt her behind but she didnít react, so I am not for sure. When I am tired of her sitting on my lap, I put her on the ground, but than on a sneaky way she gets back on my lap, and than I let her be, if she wants it that much. But when I am typing she licks my hand, and thatís making the typing more difficult than its already is.


Tonight I am going to bed early to sleep a hole in the day tomorrow ( thatís how we call it here), and when I wake up I am going to shave and shower myself, so that I am clean, shiny and fit can go to parents to have a fine Christmas family diner.


I wish you all a very marry Christmas and make something out of those days.


See you later.

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On tv 1 is nothing its out.

On tv 2 there is a dark girls I donít know her name on sbs 6

On tv 3 there is grab a grant with Jerry Lee

On tv 4 there is a Spanish game show but in a while there is some show news with Anne Igartiburu.

And on the radio there is radio 10 gold with the top 4000 they have reached the top 300

Yesterday I had an very enjoyable day they played  all beautiful records after another.


Lets talk about Feyenoord today. They have lost now twice in a row , last Sunday they lost the out game at den haag, for the competition. And last Wednesday they lost from rodah jc for the Dutch cup, and coming Sunday they must play against az the number one from the competition. Well we will see. I am not that great fan because sometimes I see guys in the field and than I think were do they come from.


I live in a small village , and because of my dads business, a lot of people know me, sometimes I meat people who knows me but I have never seen them before.

Sometimes I meat my neighbours outside and than we talk a little bit. But its not like the tv show neighbours.

I have watched neighbours for a couple off years when I lived in the big city, everyday I put it on tape and in the weekend I watched all 5 shows after each other.

Once I have cried, that episode when Henry left the show, they were all at the airport, his mother and girlfriend where all crying and I joined them crying.

There was another couple they did like each other a lot, but they didnít knew it from each other. Every time I thought tell each other but they didnít and than one time it came out , and after a while they got married and left the show, thatís when I stopped watching the show. Last year I watched a couple of episodes but I didnít like it anymore.



Nothing about the girls today nothing worth to write write about.


See you later










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thursday the 22nd22/12/2005

Just woken up and drinking my tea . Nothing much on tv , in a minute the radio starts with the top 4000.


The first day I was in the institution I thought there were very tiny laud speakers in my ear, so I asked if they could clean up my ears, they would do that but in exchange the gave me an injection . Wow, that was some strong stuff, it knocked me out for 3 days. I slept for 3 whole days, they couldnít wake me up to eat something. The second evening my parents came to visit me, but I fell in sleep while talking to them.

Once I thought there were aliens that read my mind and put voices in there, to test the human brains. But when I talked to other people with voices and I got writ of that idea. Your going to think all kinds of weird stuff because you cant understand it.


Another weird thing was about six weeks ago the voices were busy as usual, then my stomach began to hurt, because of the nerves. Then the voices stopped immediately . I found that strange because I thought they were there to hurt me., but it seems like they only would play with my brains.

After that they went on playing, but not so aggressive anymore. Once I was putting shoes on who where to small, than they said donít wear them it can hurt your feet. I also found that strange. And a couple of times when I was zapping around the channels they told me to stop, mostly it was on a channel with a pretty girl, so I didnít mind.

But they were always talking to me not with me, I asked them a lot of times why they were there and what did they want from me, but I never did got an answer.

I had a lot of questions for them


I told no one the whole truth, because I was afraid of the voices. And since I wrote about them they are all quiet . Thatís raising other questions.

I feel that they are still there, but I cant hear them. Sometimes I am afraid that the just pop up and say , You thought we were gone, didnít you. They always said that sentence after a while of silence. I am scaring myself, lets write about something else.



The competition

Wytske was not on yesterday, so no points for her there.

Claire and Tina didnít do anything that impressed me and they were fully dressed, so also no points for them.

Sonia showed some of her breasts so a few point for her there.

Another two days than I must make up my mind, about one I am pretty sure, but about the other I am still thinking about that.


A joke

Its yellow and stands in the grazing land.?


A cow with an rain coat on.


Enough for now.

See you later.



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On tv 1 there is grab a grant

On tv 2 there is a polish girl

On tv 3 there is Arlette on sbs6 I think she is cute.

On tv 4 there is a games how on tve but later on there is show news with Anne Igartiburu

The radio is still on the top 4000


When I lived in the big city in the beginning of the voices I thought it were the neighbours who were talking through the walls. Once the voices asked me to come over, so I went to the neighbours, the door was open, so I walked into the house, but I saw a guy who was laying in bed and asked me what I was doing there. So I felt really stupid and walked out of that house, I never told that guy the truth.


If I do want to meat those girls. No, because I will be to nervous, and I donít know what to say to them. I see them as my heroes, they helped me a lot just by being there. When they were on, the voices kept down. They helped me without knowing themselves, and lets stay it that way, they donít have to know.

There is only one girl I would sent flowers , no ,its not Tina , I am afraid that if she found out about this she is going to hunt me, because once she told that she falls for losers. Tina is back after a week off ,she on tonight.

When I have a lot of money I would go Italy and send Mariolina Simone a big bunch of flowers, with a card saying , from a fan, thatís all, she doesnít have to know the whole story. Because off her I found out how to shut the voices up. I wish some more girls dresses that way, than I can put it on tape for when the voices are back.


Lets write about the competition .

I saw Sonia Araujo this week she was all in black so no points for her there.

Claire Stuart was showing her legs of ,the other day, wearing a short skirt, so a few points for her there.

Wietske Kenemans was wearing a black sweater , but it was sexy so some points for her there.

I didnít see Tina Kaiser the last days so no points for her.


Last night I was watching soccer , PSV, but Carrol drew more of my attention she looked really hot. PSV scored twice but I missed them both. I wasnít listening to the tv because I was listening to the radio.

Tonight Feyenoord is on, they must play Rodah jc for the Dutch cup.


Enough for now

See you later

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dinsdag 220/12/2005

On tv 1 there is bid tv

On tv 2 there is tvn gra with Malgorzata

On tv 3 there rtl4 with Sanne

On tv 4 there is rtpi with the all in black dressed Sonia Araujo

On the radio is still the top 4000


I have been to my mother this morning , drinking some coffee and picked up some bread she bought me.


What did the voices say?

First it was about moving out of my house, but I have already wrote that down.

Then there was a girl in the institution who had voices too. She told me that her voices told her that she was getting murdered on the 5th of may.

Then my voices told me that I was the one who must murder her, but first I must fuck her brains out. That scared me so much that I went for a talk with the shrink.

And that calmed me down.

Than for ten years the voices played with me, and they always won. They called my name over and over again , but I tried to ignore it, but it kept going on and on and on, Until I did pay attention to them, then they said : We win , and than a couple of minutes later they started all over again. That could go on for hours.

Other times they called my name over and over again until I did pay attention, then they said something I just couldnít understand because it was to far away.

I screamed and cried and begged that they the would go away but that never worked.

Than when I was with other people, they wanted me to ask sexual questions to those people. Mostly I did go away to home, than they said again : we win.

Once I slipped a question and asked to my sister if she had good sex. The voices said again, we win.

Than they told me that I must go to work, you now how that turned out.

Whatever I did whatever I thought they always won.

Now I think I have beat them, I donít know how, I am still figuring that one out.

Sometimes I think that one day they are coming back and say, Gotcha, and that its starting all over again, and that scared me.

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I have got 1 tv on with a Dutch morning show with Brecht van Hulten.

And the radio with the top 4000


I woke up at six and stayed in bed until 06.45, thinking why the voices arenít there anymore.

When I think of it , its not only the erotic dressed famous girls ( I saw Wietske last night, she looked very hot, I was to tired to watch it, so I put it tape, maybe I am going to watch it later on.) that keeps them quiet but also horror movies and exiting thrillers. A couple of years ago, while watching an episode of star gate, they told me it was exited, but that was the only time I can remember. I know they did react on comedy, drama and porn movies.

Maybe itís the adrenalin, that blocks them off. But that donít answers the question why they are so quiet for the last two weeks, nothing exiting happens in my life. Maybe itís the medication because I am fully loaded with it the last days. I donít know.

If it is the adrenalin I must search for an exiting job, maybe taking pictures for playboy, but I think you get used to it after a couple of times.

I did try work with the voices, but I couldnít concentrate myself because I was to drowsy, and thatís got me arguing with my colleges , and when I cut down my medication I couldnít concentrate because of the voices.


Talking about the playboy, my brother is going to be very exited , because his favourite tv host Bridget Maasland is going to be in playboy next year. If the pictures are nice I am going to buy it to , so I can put the pictures on my wall.


I have downloaded a couple of horror movies a few years back, but than I got an angry e mail from my internet provider that they got an angry e mail from a movie company . So I have stopped downloading.

Now I have movie channel its cost a couple of bucks but I am happy with it.


Enough for now

See you later.



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the story so far20/12/2005


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